Talking with my bestie the other day, we pondered: if you died, and, you know, there was an afterlife and all that, albeit a strange one, and you can find out anything in the history of the world, what would you ask? If you could find out the truth about anything that has ever happened, but only, say, 5 things, what 5 things would you ask?
"Why only 5?" you ask.
"Because I'm Jesus," said Jesus.
The top 5 things (I can think of at the moment) that I would want to know are:
1) Who shot Kennedy. And why.
I am not actually generally an American History buff or anything, and I kind of care about JFK as a president, but I love conspiracies. And getting to find out who actually shot him, and more importantly, why he was shot. Like, the Mob? Someone who just really didn't like Jackie's hats?
2) Atlantis. Go.
Did it exist? Where was it? What was it like? When did it exist from and to? Is there anything to the story of Plato getting his source information from Egyptian priests? Did Atlantis influence or create any other cultures?
3) Is time travel possible?
Of all plot devises of science fiction, time travel is by far my favourite. Wibbly-wobbly, time-y-whimey bits. Is it like Back to the Future? Doctor Who? Star Trek? Bill & Ted's Excellent Adventure? Can you change the past? Or is anything you do in the past "meant to be" because its already happened? Though I suppose that isn't finding out about something that happened so much as about the universe.... or is it?
4) Are the surviving ancient Greek playwrights actually typical of Dionysian festivals and otherwise?
This one is uber nerdy, but I love Greek plays. And only drama playwrights that survived, or, their plays survive, are Aeschylus, Sophocles, and Euripides. Aeschylus and Sophocles have 7 each, and Euripides had 9 on purpose, and 10 or so that survived by accident in an attic of a monastery in the Medieval Ages. All but one, The Persians, is based on a myth. But these three dudes were considered the best of their time. What if what they wrote was waaaayyyy off what everyone else wrote? What is everyone else wrote about, I don't know, philosophy, or daily life, or daisies. (Hey, there is an entire comedy about frogs. It could happen.) But my classics major brain wants to know. And, you know, see one in 450 B.C.E. in Athens at the Dionysian festival. And understand ancient Greek. Minor detail.
5) Does the Loch Ness Monster or any other folklore creatures exist now or ever?
Call me a child, but I want some concrete answers here. Nessie could so totally be a dinosaur. Underwater dinosaurs existed and looked remarkably like Nessie. And Loch Ness is a super creepy loch. Once upon a time, the Northern half of Scotland was part of Canada. Like, Newfoundland or something. It continental-drifted across the Atlantic and crashed into the southern half of Scotland, trapping four lakes in the Great Glen. One of which is Loch Ness. So Loch Ness, originally part of the ocean, is hundreds of meters deep and took thousands of years to become fresh water. So the fish and stuff got trapped and evolved completely independently. The fish that live at the bottom of Loch Ness are gigantic cannibal fish who grow to be like 6 feet long. And just look like huge, well, fish. And live at the bottom of Loch Ness. Crazy.
-K
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