I am pretty bad at small talk. I usually come off as being polite but uninterested. Occasionally awkward. And always a little useless. I can manage polite concern towards the weather, but beyond that, I don't really know what to say. And while this can make me uncomfortable at times, philosophically, I prefer it.
Chuck Klosterman's introduction to his Hypertheticals is basically a diatribe on why small talk is stupid and why he has no interest in taking part in it. I do agree, on a basic level, but that's not what bothers me about it. Small talk is uninteresting drivel, sure, but boredom is not its most distinguishing feature.
Small Talk is, sans exception, without direction. Conversations of small talk can occur between any two people. And the problem is, it doesn't matter who these two people are. Or, more accurately, your small talk is the same, regardless of who you are talking to. And that bothers me on both sides. That it would be fake and fictional and plastic enough to say to absolutely anyone, but also, that my presence, my participation in a conversation is completely unimportant to the existence of that conversation. I could be talking to person A or B, or G, or N, or X, Y, or Z, and be saying the exact same thing with incredibly little variation. And you know what? I don't want to say those things, and I don't want to be talked at like that by anyone. I like to know that when someone tells me something, they are telling me. On Purpose. What can I say? I'm old fashioned. I like to be involved in my conversations.
But what can you do? Unless we abolish people getting offended and simultaneously prevent over sharing, I, sadly, accept defeat that small talk will not cease to exist. But I do solemnly swear to at least try to have something resembling a genuine conversation with every person I have spoken to more than once. Because I really can't stand the phoniness of it all. Unless, of course, the weather is really crazy that day.
-Holden Caulfield
aka K
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