The Ups and Downs of Memory

To My Youngers,

Memory is a funny thing.

Apparently smells are the strongest memory-re-awakeners, music does it really well too, but for me the things that bring back the strongest and oddest memories are things that I have made: Paintings I've painted, hats I've knit, drawings I've drawn, things I've sewn or mended, things I've built. I get a flash of the music I listened to or the show I was watching while making. I remember what I had for lunch that day, or what happened at work the night before. I'm trying to think up specific examples right now, but it really only works when I'm holding the thing itself. Its like some sort of cheesy magical portal to the past! My time-traveling-toque. Who knew it was so easy.

But easy isn't always a good thing. Being sick is like that too. Right now I've got the wicked head cold thats going 'round, complete with fever and hacking cough. I haven't been this sick in ages. Literally years, actually, but the first day of it every memory of the last time came flooding back. The whole-body pain of fever. The way your chest hurts like you've done waaaaay too many push ups. Having to sleep sitting up with six pillows piled under my head... It sucks when flash-backs are about  how crappy you felt (feel).

With remembrance day just around the corner it makes me think of all of those people who have many many more horrible things to flash-back to than a bad cold. That's not my worst memory either, but even the worst I could dream up has nothing on these guys... War is an obviously complicated issue, and after many years of considering all the different sides of the concept, I am no closer to having a consistent opinion on 'war.' What is consistent, however, is my reaction to large groups of vets/off-duty-military-personal (or navy or army or whatever). Not on TV, not reading about it, but in person.

I was at a hockey game the other night and it was the troops appreciation night. That moment when they ask everyone who serves or has served to stand up and we clap for them, in thanks to their service- that always makes me cry. Not big sobs or anything, but I always (aaaaaaallways) get tears in my eyes. Its not a voluntary response, its not something I decide, I just feel overwhelmed by the fact that all these people, these hundreds and hundreds of people in the same building as me regularly put their life in danger to keep the rest of us safe. Whether or not I agree with the conflict or our military presence in it doesn't change that they are willing to lay down their life for what they believe in, and that is certainly something that should never be forgotten.

-E